Dan Bolton's blog

How Do You Change Painful Experiences into Growth?

Some guys resent others to whom life comes easy. If you think about it, do you really want to be one of those guys? The moment they hit a challenge in their life they get completely thrown off, become frustrated, and give up. When push comes to shove, and success requires real effort and character, these people are the first to fail. They don’t have the strength, character, and integrity to cope with growing pains, because they have never had to grow, and maybe never will. Ultimately, if you have not tasted these growing pains you will not really appreciate the taste of success when it does come; such men will take it for granted and life will be dull for them.

Be Clear With Your Intentions


Another common complaint I hear from men is that they cannot tell if the women they're interested in like them or not. The insinuation is usually either that women are difficult because they are not more direct. If this is something that rings true to you, consider that the problem may be you and not them.

Inspiring Examples of Resistance: J.J. Watt Strikes Back


This is unprecedented, but the same person has met the standard for making it onto my Inspiring Examples of Resistance series two months in a row. The month after I made an example of J.J. Watt's negativity on my blog a few weeks ago, he turns around and surprises me with an act of resilience, resisting the negativity of the most negative fan base in all of sports! 

Guys, Do You Really Believe "It's so much easier for women?"

An all too common complaint I hear from men when it comes to dating is "It's so much easier for women." I might have used to sympathize, but my experience and maturity has led me to believe that this statement is bulls--t. More than anything this is used as an excuse to avoid the anxiety that comes with learning and personal growth. Yes, it is easier for a woman to get laid. But, how do you think a woman feels when constantly having to determine whether this man who is showing her so much attention, saying all of these exorbitantly flattering things to her, is being truthful or just trying to get into her pants?

Breaking Bad Habits


As we continue to discuss negativity, it is important to keep in mind that if you decide to make changes in your life, that change is not an easy process. In fact your brain resists changing... Multiple different theories in psychology and neuroscience have identified the brain as seeking the familiar, the status quo, the path of least resistance; essentially the human tendency is to gravitate toward whatever baseline you have established in your life. This is a tendency that you have to be motivated to, and be ready to exert willpower to overcome.

Inspiring Examples of Resistance: Impact of a Losing Attitude

This past weekend a different form of resistance stood out to me. It was inspiring, but not inspiring as we traditionally think of inspiration. It was inspirational to me because the action of the individual, and the spirit with which that individual acted, outlined a concept I have been repeatedly addressing in my blog, specifically negativity.

This example of resistance is not inspiring in the typical way I have been framing this series in my blog in that it it is not the kind of act that is going to motivate you to get up tomorrow and do something similar. Quite the contrary. It is an act of resistance and it’s outcome that I hope will inspire my readers to take pause and be more thoughtful about our actions, not only how they affect other people, but also how our actions, attitude, and intent directly impacts ourselves as well.

Inspiring Examples of Resistance: The Guy Who Didn't Give Up

The moment I saw this video it immediately shattered the threshold I use when I try to decide whether a feat is inspiring enough for this series. Here was a man, disabled through his service to his country, who gained a lot of weight which compounded his disability, to the point he needed heavy bracing and crutches just to move around. Everyone had given up on this man. He seems to have nearly given up on himself. But, something inside him had not fully given up… I will not go into the story, since it is pretty clearly spelled out in the video.

Forms of Negativity in Men

As of late I have been focused on pointing out the pitfalls of negative thinking, particularly how it holds you back from reaching your true potential. In conversation I've noticed this message has been misinterpreted as waging a full scale attack on negativity. When I speak about being positive, it is not to say that one should not be experiencing negative feelings, or eradicating negative thoughts. Negative feelings are a healthy, natural part of life. To feel angry, annoyed, frustrated, etc. are all ways in which our emotions signal us to pay attention to problems we need to address in our lives. Problems arise when this negative vibration becomes ingrained in habit and persists as a low grade humming in your daily life below your radar.

First it is important to identify non-constructive forms of negativity as they apply to men (some of these can be applied more generally):