It has been awhile since I posted anything in the Inspiring Examples of Resistance series I started last year. This has not been because of any lack of inspiring stories out there, because there are many. I had my focus on other areas.
Men's rational minds seem to stop working when they become physically attracted. I don't mean to judge, because I've been there myself. All men have been there. It is responsible for men diving headlong into unhealthy relationships, why men can't get over a break up (especially when it is the right thing for them), or even get caught up in becoming obsessed with one woman, otherwise known as one-itis. There can definitely be other extenuating emotional factors involved, but for the purpose of simplicity I will focus on this one factor that is more common in men than women, leading me to scream out to all men captivated solely by physical attraction - "It's a trap!" (to join in the recent flurry of Admiral Ackbar references going around lately)
This is an open letter to young fathers…
You have embarked on a monumental journey. Maybe you already have long been on this journey. Maybe you have already seen and felt fatherhood as the gift that it is. But, then again, maybe you have been discouraged, and only had flashes of the pride and joy of being a father. Fatherhood is an amazing privilege, and I cannot think of anything more rewarding and fulfilling than being a father. My aim here is to reach out to young fathers and make sure they are not deprived of this great feeling by pointing out some of the obstacles to experiencing it along the way.
I've gone over a lot of ground with expectations over the past few weeks. Inevitably, there have been points I've missed, so thank you to those who commented to add to the discussion.
To review, basically, any ideas you have about your relationship or your partner that even begin to resemble 'All or Nothing' is a good sign that you are bringing unrealistic expectations into the relationship. Some examples include (and this is by no means exhaustive):
Expectations have such a broad impact on relationships, I had to break this into a couple of different segments… This week's focus is on how they affect men's psychology and behavior once in a relationship, as well as changes in what men expect from their partners.
Lately I've been writing extensively about the reasons and ways men change from before entering a relationship to being in the relationship. Whether or not you fall into this trap ultimately boils down to your belief about what it means being in a relationship.