Dating

More on Being Clear with Your Intentions

Discussions on other forums made me realize I needed to add one piece to my post about men being clear with their intentions. Some men are not upfront about their intentions because they are shy, anxious, or preoccupied about being rejected, and play it safe. Some men are not upfront because they think that no woman would want to just have sex, and by not saying anything they can fly under what they think is the "constant surveillance for a relationship" radar of all women. Some men who want a relationship with a woman are afraid to explicitly say so because the woman has said that she only wants something casual, and silently suffer through heartache hoping the woman will come around in time.

Don't Be a Stranger in Your Own Life

If you have a tendency to depend on the outcome you want to feel good, simply put you are making others responsible for how you feel. You end up carrying water for others and resenting them when they don’t automatically return the favor. People pleasing or entertaining people with the expectation that they are obliged do the same for you will never result in happiness. Maybe for a short while, but that sort of happiness will soon evaporate into the ethers. You will end up exhausted, bitter, and will start carrying a chip on your shoulder. This is especially devastating to romantic relationships.

Overcome Anxiety, Build Character

Because of this tendency to seek positive emotions and avoid negative emotions I think that people have prioritized comfort over happiness. But do you truly feel happy in the comfort of your daily routine?  Do you really feel happy going home after an 8-10 hour work day to catch the latest episode of the latest reality TV show? Sure numbing yourself after a long day at work feels comfortable, and we all need to do this sometimes. The problem is that with the heightened demands of life and our jobs to be productive this numbing into a state of comfort can become an everyday occurrence. Yes, comfort is the absence of negative emotions, but it is also the absence of the natural positive highs that can be experienced in life as well.

Reasonable Expectations for Success

 

As I stated last week, how you define success for yourself is going to directly influence how successful you feel. This feeling comes down to taking the focus off the result itself, and honing in on the actions you are taking toward the result you desire. What goals you set for yourself are essential for maintaining that focus, perseverance, and most importantly, your self-confidence. In doing this it is important to create reasonable criterion for success for whatever you are looking to improve on.

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